Vacation!

I am feeling a little bit more spunky today.  I kicked myself in my own butt and accomplished my exercise for the day this morning.  And, once that is out of the way, it is usually much easier to accomplish eating correctly as well.  So far, so good. 

Last night while watching the Biggest Loser, I was getting so bored through the commercials, and so about half way through, decided to exercise whenever one came on.  By the time the program was over, I had done 100 crunches and 69 pushups.  I felt pretty good about that.  Then this morning, when I really didn't want to get in some cardio....I forced myself. It wasn't that bad either.  I did a quick 2 miles with the Leslie Sansone walking dvd and then took my walk outside for another 4 miles.  When I got home, I slammed out 30 more pushups and 60 more crunches. And could I feel the pain in my core? Oh yeah...

On Friday I and my son are leaving on a road trip to Portland, Oregon, and then the next day on down the coast to visit my parents.  I will meet up with my husband in Portland and we will actually get a couple days away together.  I plan on staying the entire week visiting and then hubby will come pick us up by the weekend and I will then head back to Boise.  It also looks like rain is in the forecast.  Why does it always have to be raining when I go there?  Why?  About 30 miles east of Portland is a very beautiful place called, Multnomah Falls.  I think Trey and I will stop there and take a hike up above the falls.  I have been looking online at different hiking maps and it gave me a brainstorm to search out other hiking opportunities for next week when I am in Oregon.  I am really looking forward to that. Now that it is much easier for me to get out there and move my body a bit, I think the adventure of it all will be great.  Plus, it might help with some of that vacation eating that could happen.  Stuff happens, you know?

Looking Through the Reality Lens

There isn't a lot of new information to post on this blog.  My weight loss efforts haven't reaped any great new rewards lately.  Maybe because there hasn't been quite enough effort? Most likely.  But, I refuse to give up.  I am stronger, healthier and look better than I have looked in years and there is no going backwards.  I had a little pep talk from the friend I mentioned in an earlier post (who has lost 80+ pounds and kept it off...only done it nice and slow) and she reminded me that getting to my goal quickly is really not the best course of action anyway.  Yes, we all want to get there and be done with it.  We want the prize..etc.  But slow and steady is probably more apt to have lasting results.  I know she is right. And, she is proof of it too.  Our bodies need to adapt to the changes that take place.  There are games of catching up going on with our metabolism and all those internal workings that make no real sense until proven with the sweat and effort put into it.  Amazingly though, I slide on a pair of 16's and they fit me effortlessly.  Five months ago, I could barely squeeze into a 20.  In fact, a few 14's can be zipped up at this point.  It's definite progress.  Because I have had a few bad days, or slip ups...or haven't been as vigilant with my exercise does not label me a failure by any stretch of the imagination.  It actually classes me in with the majority of the population.  Not necessarily the best excuse in the world, but it is a fact.  The thing that sets me apart from that population and the company I am keeping here in these weight loss blogs is that I will continue on.  There is no going back.  I will never weight 280 pounds again...and I will reach my goals.  But, there are no time limits....and...there are no unreasonable expectations.  I have to be good to me and my body, and respect it when it slows down and when it doesn't always give me the results I could wish for.  The main thing is...it's alive, it's getting healthier and I am worth the effort I put into this.

Feeling Cranky

Lately, I haven't been feeling as victorious and wonderful as I was previously.  And it occurs to me that part of my problem is, and always has been, that I never stop to enjoy the journey.  I am always more focused on the being there than the getting there.  I really need to stop and take stock of where I am now.

I have a good friend that has been an inspiration to me for some years.  She and I were very similar in that we met through an online weight loss board and both had basically the same weight loss goals and similar frustrations in our everyday lives.  We connected and have remained great confidants in the journey.  About 2-3 years or so ago, something clicked inside of her and she was able to finally apply the weight loss things she always knew and successfully lose the majority of her weight.  I remember her telling me that it just felt right and there was no going back.  I think she now stands at 70+ loss and still losing, although slowly, but losing nonetheless.  She stopped worrying and stressing over every pound and just decided it was time to regain her health and however long it took...she would continue on.  And she has.  Me?  I wished I could find that click in the brain that made the pieces fall into place.  But, I never did.  I really do believe this time I have.  But, part of my problem remains that I don't slow down long enough to enjoy what I have accomplished.  It is never enough, the number isn't significant enough, the process too lengthy...etc and so on.  No picture taking until closer to goal.  No rewards until I feel I deserve it.  No believing of compliments or loose clothes...instead it must be some abberation that put me where I appear to be.  Total and utter nonsense.

Why do I put myself through this crap?

I wish I had a few readers that could enlighten me with their opinions on this topic.

I have had a rough week as far as weight loss goes.  Yes, I lost a little less than a pound, but I will take it.  Exercise has been nearly nonexistant thanks to Tony Horton and the muscle I pulled in my leg.  You big muscle-bound jerk, thanks a lot.  I guess that is what I get for thinking I was ready for his bootcamp mentality.  And maybe I am?  I have seen worse-off people than me being tortured on the Biggest Loser and living to talk about it.  Or perhaps it's all cameras and lighting for good TV?  HA!

I am in this.  I will lose this darn weight.  I think I need to drum up some recruits though because I am tired of talking to the walls in here.

Tony Horton's 10-Minute Trainer

Back about a year or so ago I was watching TV late one night and saw an infomercial for some exercise weight loss dvd's. they made it looks so easy. I dont even remember the details of it right now, but being 130 pounds overweight at the time and wishing for a miracle I slapped down the $100 or whatever it was to buy these things. I popped one of the dvd's in 1 time and died after about 4 minutes. I just couldn't do it! I threw them back in the box and hid them in the back of the closet so I didn't have to face another failure in my life. I thought about those things this morning and decided I am going to pull them out and try again. (plus as a bonus I also cleaned out that closet. I may have just been stalling though!)


Okay, the work out was: Tony Horton's 10-minute trainer. You would think 10 minutes is doable. What's 10 minutes? I will tell you what 10 minutes is...it's pure tortuous HELL! But, I went ahead and did all 3- 10 minute intervals that they recommended for maximum results. They have alternating workouts each day. And this thing goes for 7 days a week. I am not sure I will go for 7 days a week though. After the 1st 4 weeks (28 days of torture) is up then I move onto the accelerated plan, which is 4 more weeks adding in another dvd with more forms of cruel and unusual punishment. It also utilizes resistance bands and a gadget you attach to a door frame so you can attach yourself to the resistance bands while you are bungee-ing around the room. (talk about feeling uncoordinated. One bonus is that the waist strap actually fits around my middle now, where when I purchased them last year it was a hopeless cause)

I am nowhere able to do everything in my 10 minutes. I had to stop a few times because I needed that moment to cry and cuss, plus I have a very hard time keeping the pace. Tony Horton likes to punish a little bit and has no idea what an out of shape old lady I am! I am sure in time...if I live through it, I should get better.

At least I don't plan on hiding the dvd's to the back of my closet anymore.

update:  As of this week I have lost 53.5 pounds.  Am worried though...have to buy new scales and am worried about what my "real" weight is compared to the very unreliable ones I have been using.  (they weigh in something different everytime they are used...as much as 5 lbs difference.  My guess is their calibration is no longer working)

The Numbers are in...

While dressing this morning I decided it was time to do my measurements again.  I put off measuring myself until the end of December, and I have been kicking myself ever since.  If you are someone like me that didn't want to face the tape measure because of the pain of reality...stop feeling that way!  You are going to wish you had that yardstick when you get into the plateaus and periods of weight loss where the scale fluctuates up and down.  I wish I knew what my beginning numbers were, because that would make today's results all the sweeter.  But, I will take the progress I have made and be proud.  Here it goes:

Since December 21, 2009 I have lost this many inches from my body as of today...

Bust = 3.25 (I do believe the majority of this is back fat...so take heart dear husband)
Waist = 3
Hips = 4.5  (it's sad that my waist and hips are so close to the same measurement)
Thigh = 2.75 (the fattest part)
Arm = 1.25 (the fattest part)

That is grand total of 14.75 inches missing from Shelley's bod.  Yay team!

I measure about 2 times a month.  Usually there is just a fractional difference.  I could easily do it only one time a month to feel a little better.  This time around the last time I had measured was Feb 18th, and since then have lost 3.25 inches from those same areas all total.  This is one of the largest differences I have had in a few months.  I do believe it has to be the new Leslie Sansone dvd I have been working out to.  I logged that 4 times this week in addition to 1 outdoors walk with good old Lucky dog.  Exercise is key.  Oh, and I also have been crunching, push ups and just started on the totally terrible planks to supplement my workouts.  I do find those tough calisthenic exercises are easier to do AFTER you have done an hour of aerobic exercise.  The muscles are sore, but they are also well warmed up and more limber than if you just did them cold.

Clothes?  I started out in November wearing a 22/24.  Now I can safely say I am wearing an 18 although an occasional 16 fits too.  It's great, except for the fact I have so little in my closet that I can wear.  I need to go through and pack up the big clothes...maybe the empty rack will get the point across that I really am going to have to break down and buy something.  An 18 is about the smallest I have been for many, many years, so smaller sizes in my clothes arsenal no longer exist.  Believe me, even the 18's I have AND ARE wearing, are not really the latest fashion trend.  One thing I do need to invest in though is an interview outfit.  I never know when that phone call will come in.  Although it has been a long time since I have received one!

Face-Off

I need more before and after pictures.  Here is a sort of before and after I did.  To be completely honest, the after picture was really taken during the Christmas holiday, and I had lost about 32 pounds by then.  But, I thought the before picture was a good indicator of how chubby my face was.  When I look at that picture I think everything just looks swollen and pudgy.  My eyes..which have always been a focal feature of my face are even lost in my face.

I don't have any good full body "after" shots right now, but as soon as I do, I will do a split screen of how far I have come with those too.

I Can "Bearly" Stand It!

Today I received my latest shipment of Nutrisystem products.   Along with my food came my 50 lb bear.  I decided to take a picture of my collection.  Aren't they sweet?  It's a nice reminder of what I have accomplished.

I may halt future orders from here on out.  I haven't completely determined that, but I have quite an assortment of food stockpiled at this point, and it seems expensive to keep the orders coming in based on another cute bear.  It would be fun to take it all the way to goal, but I have so far to go and I am not sure I can financially keep this up much longer.  I am NOT giving up though.  I have been playing around with the idea of joining Weight Watchers once I have lost half of my weight.  That would be about 14 more pounds from where I am now.  Of course, it would be tempting to hold out for the 60 lb bear, based on that...but...I wouldn't really be giving Weight Watchers a fair shake then.  Decisions to be made, but luckily, I don't have to do them today.  All I do know is I really want to incorporate "real food" and things I prepare from scratch into my day because it makes more sense in maintenance not to be relying on prepackaged meals.  I know from reading the message boards, a lot of people do still eat the NS entrees on maintenance, but I don't want that for myself.  I guess I have to wait and see what I decide when I get to that place.

You are Cordially Invited to My Pity Party...don't forget to bring the Chips...

How do I make myself "enjoy" this process a little bit more?  In the beginning I looked forward to my daily walk and enjoyed watching the pounds quickly disappear from the scale.  Now, I am in that place where the weight no longer falls off of me and my workout has to be a lot more than a brisk walk outside with my dog in order to supplement my weight loss.  Now I have to do the kind of exercise that I don't enjoy very much...lots of jumping around and gasping for air stuff.  Ugh....but it seems to be the only thing that is working.  And, oh how I dread it!  I join exercise challenges on the message board in order to hopefully keep me in line and I moan and groan my way through them...telling myself in a little voice with encouragement, "You can do this Shelley...c'mon girl.. just a few more minutes".  And the reality is, I will probably ALWAYS have to maintain this level of activity in order to KEEP the weight off.  Ugh again.

Poor, poor me.  What's a girl to do?

Well, one alternative is to get lazy and get fat again.  Oh wait...it's  not like I am now skinny.  I better stick with this so I can at least not be "fat" now.  What an ugly 3-letter word!

I do see me finishing the weight loss part of this thing.  I have no idea how long it will take.  I do have an idea I will not be able to continue on with Nutrisystem that much longer.  The expense of it is getting out of control.  If I have to resort to another form of diet based on the knowledge I have gained, I don't see that as a failure with my program.  I see that as being proactive.  NS isn't magic.  It's just one method of losing weight and so far has been very good to me.

But, I really need something in my life right now that puts all the efforts into perspective.  I need to feel a lasting sense of entitlement to weight loss.  I need to feel like I am making more of a difference.